Thursday, July 14, 2011

Feeling Peaceful, but That Could Be the Vodka

I've made some decisions about Gigi, and I'm feeling much more settled. Thanks for reading and giving me your opinions! Thank you also to my friends and husband who have listened to me work this out and decide how to proceed.

I'm not going to confront Gigi. I am, however, no longer going to be available to listen to her problems. Every time we get together it becomes a therapy session, and I don't have any fun on my night out when she shows up anymore. I feel burdened and drained. That's on the nights I don't have to drive her home or watch her puke her guts out. I've contemplated just staying home to avoid her. I'm not doing that either. I'm just not going to listen to her replay the same old tapes every weekend. I've found my boundary, and I'm enforcing it.

If Gigi asks me about what will surely be a noticeable change in our relationship, I will tell her exactly what I am feeling. I'll say, "Because giving you my honest feedback makes me a target of your anger, I no longer want to listen to your problems. Being ignored for a week and a half because I said something you didn't like, even though it was true and not intended to hurt you in any way, feels really crummy, and I'm not putting myself through that anymore. I still care about you, and I wish you the best and hope you will find happiness in your life, but I can no longer be there for you in the way I have been in the past."

If telling her that means we can no longer be friends, so be it. Our relationship has been hurting me for a long time, and frankly, I'll be better off. She's a sweet person, but her baggage has become too heavy for me to help carry. It's hurting me and making me less available for my kids, my husband, and my other friends.

Not an easy thing to do, but I'm glad it's resolved in my mind. I've been such a bitch all week to my family because I've been so stressed out about it. Not cool.

Of course, Gigi is still not talking to me. Maybe this time she'll stay mad and I won't have to say anything at all.

1 comment:

  1. I think, you made a smart, if painful choice kiddo. Relationships morph over time and not always for the better, unfortunately.