I waited all day to unload on my husband, but decided against it. He'd probably suggest medication or a cocktail, anyway. It's easier than dealing with the shit that pisses me off. (Seriously, I'm not usually such a pissed off person. It's the allergy meds, I'm tellin' ya!)
Instead of talking things out with my husband I decided to take a nice relaxing bath while taking care of a few personal hygiene issues. While I was shaving my legs, I noticed my razor was pretty dull. I figured I'd just deal with it and change the blade next time, but then I gouged myself and started bleeding.
Still having several areas needing shaving, I decided to change the blade midstream. I hopped out of the tub, dripping water and blood and opened the cupboard to grab a new blade. Naturally, I couldn't find one, which infuriated me because I know I just bought some!
I did, however, find fifty sticks of used up deodorant. Why am I the only one, for fuck's sake, who can throw away an empty stick of deodorant, or change the toilet paper roll, or put a fresh garbage bag in the can? Why? And why am I the only one around here who can ever find anything, and yet I CAN'T find my fucking razor blades?
Determined to find them, I started pulling crap out of the cupboard, and while I was doing that I dropped my very expensive jar of moisturizer which cracked. Sweet. When I looked down at the cracked jar I noticed that quite an impressive puddle of blood and water had accumulated under my feet.
I decided relaxing tub time was over and went and rinsed off. I put on my bathrobe and came directly here so I could fume at the computer. Now my husband is calling me, and I think I have to go explain the puddle of blood in the bathroom that I failed to clean up. I'm pretty sure leaving it there was a subconscious cry for help. Next time I think I'll just unload on him when he gets home from work. It would have been less painful for both of us. Also, I think a cocktail is in order.
To avoid grievous wounds, I decided to let the hair on my legs go native years ago. I get quite a bit of work now as a Yeti look a like.
ReplyDeletelol! I'm often tempted to do the same.
ReplyDeleteOh heavens! Shaving accidents are the worse.
ReplyDeleteAnd ditto to this:
"Why am I the only one, for fuck's sake, who can throw away an empty stick of deodorant, or change the toilet paper roll, or put a fresh garbage bag in the can? Why? And why am I the only one around here who can ever find anything."
It has to be the "Y" chromosome that fucks everything up. :)
Ha! Yes. I tell my peeps it's my super infrared female super powers. (Two supers. Didya see that?)
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